I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize