well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Randomize
