franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize