He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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