How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Randomize
