I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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