You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Randomize
