mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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