i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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