This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Randomize
