??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
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