3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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