he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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