hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Randomize
