From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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