Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Randomize
