This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
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