She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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