she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
i think i just lost a toe
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
