hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
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