Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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