Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize