Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
