Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Did I show you my penis last night?
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
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