You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
