blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize
