yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
