nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
