i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
