and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
