is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
