yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
