Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Watching her eat just hurts me
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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