Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
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