I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
