Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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