well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize
