PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
And then my night got REAL pukey
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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