those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Randomize
