If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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