I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
