i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Ladies don't puke and tell
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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