new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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