I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
