Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Randomize
