I accidentally had phone sex last night
dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Randomize
