Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
