i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
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