Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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