so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I deserve this hangover.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
tell me about the fingering
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