Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Randomize
