does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
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