The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
