This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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