Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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