Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
