Can i not drive my cunt home
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
