I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
