We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
