is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
i just sent this text using only my big toe
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I want to fling myself into the sun
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
